I find Travis Kelce’s commitment to his role as Chief Tayvis Update Correspondent endearing. None of Taylor Swift’s former partners has been as forthcoming about what it’s like to date the most famous woman on the planet. But Travis—whether out of pride or a need for podcast anecdotes—has regaled us with plenty of juicy details: tales of how he originally tried to court Taylor, their international dates, and even his proposal game plan. He’s a nosy Swiftie’s dream.
Earlier this week, the podcast host/NFL star hopped on the New Heights mic to casually share more Tayvis lore. He says that in the two and a half years they’ve been together, they’ve never fought.
While interviewing George Clooney, Travis called out George’s famous claim that he and his wife, Amal, haven’t argued once in their decade together. “Neither of us is gonna win the argument, so why get in?” George said. “Dude, I’m 64 years old. What am I gonna argue about at this point?” To this, Travis agreed, “Well, it’s only been two and a half years, and you’re right. I haven’t gotten into an argument. Never once.” And this jolly little revelation pretty instantly triggered a wave of disbelief and critique.
The real skeptics took Travis’s fun fact to mean that he and his fiancée repress all their discontent, avoid divisive subjects, or maybe haven’t ever had a deep conversation. The Tayvis defenders proposed that maybe Taylor and Travis are secretly masters of healthy communication, Ones who can navigate all conflict quickly and without any heightened emotion.
There's also the fact that, as many online have noted, their fame and incomprehensible joint net worth shortens the list of petty things to bicker about. (Imagine them being stressed about splitting a bill.)
But no matter how they ended up in their own argument-free bliss, it shouldn’t encourage anyone to idealize a totally conflict-less relationship.
As relationship expert (and my guiding light), Esther Perel explains, conflict is essential. “Relationships follow a cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair,” she says. According to her, most relationship arguments are rooted in three underlying themes: power and control, closeness and care, and respect and recognition. Addressing issues within those buckets can strengthen a bond and positively redirect the course of a relationship.
That’s why I find the idea of never disagreeing with your partner terrifying. It can mean opinions go unchallenged, and healthy growth is stalled. It can leave frustrations unexpressed, just quietly simmering until they boil into something much bigger and harder to fix. A couple's first big fight is a relationship milestone just as significant as finally saying “I love you” or taking your first trip together. Learning how you and your partner uniquely overcome conflict together is a huge step forward. Even if the conflict is comically trivial, like say, arguing about how many candles are safe to keep lit at once (not at all speaking from personal experience).
All that said, I think I (and other people online who are pro-healthy disagreement) might have reacted a bit too quickly to Travis’s revelation. (I eloquently responded, “what arguing is good wtf,” to a friend who texted me the clip.)
To be fair, we shouldn’t assume that Travis's claim means he and Taylor have never faced any sort of contention. A throwaway podcast comment can’t capture the full breadth of a relationship’s pitfalls and strengths. And I, too, would try to relate to George Clooney in any way possible if I were in a friendly conversation with him. But if you can’t make a similar claim about your own relationship, don't jump to the belief that your relationship is toxic or doomed. Your bickering probably leaves you better off.
